Should we invite children to our wedding?

Should we invite children to our wedding?

This is one question that gets asked a lot when it comes to compiling your wedding guest list!

In actual fact, the decision can even lead to family fall outs, so it is worth giving a bit of extra consideration.

We have broken down what we here at My Scotland Wedding feel are the important points to consider and hope this will help you decide what you are going to do, in your own particular wedding situation.

Do you have children of your own, who will be attending?

If you have your own children then it might be beneficial to have other children there to keep them company, so they are not vying for your attention all day.

If they are friends with the children in question, even better. 

On the flip side, you will likely have all your family and friends present, so the children may be well occupied with everyone already.

How far will your guests be travelling to attend your wedding?

If you have children yourself, you know they will always be on your mind. 

If your guests have travelled far to attend you wedding and have to stay overnight, they do not have the option to pop home in an emergency and will also require a babysitter to spend the night looking after their children, not just for a few hours.

Will your guests usual babysitters be present at the wedding? 

As an example, if your cousin has kids, there’s a good chance that their go-to babysitters (your Aunty and/or Uncle) will also be at your wedding. If your cousins In-laws live near to them, this may not be a problem, as the kids can go to their other Granny and Grampa’s house for the night. Likewise, if its your friends children and their parents are not invited, then they could well have a babysitter readily available.

Will any of your guests have a new-born baby?

If they do, there is little-to-no chance they will leave their bundle of joy with anyone else for a whole day and evening, let alone an overnight stay to attend your wedding. If the baby is breastfed, it's important that mum and baby are together.

You risk not having them as a guest if you say the baby can’t come and possibly risk their friendship too! Lets be honest, everyone loves a baby.

Can you organise a childcare service for the wedding day?

This can kill 2 birds with one stone. Your guests with young kids have the comfort of knowing their kids are nearby and at the same time you won’t have any potential disruptions to your service or during the meal, speeches etc. This can allow your parent guests to let their hair down more.

We feel that these are likely to be the main questions you should be asking yourself when planning your wedding checklist. Here are some of our Pro’s and Con’s of having kids attend…

Pro’s & Con’s of Having Kids Attend Your Wedding

Pro’s

1. Kids make people happy, especially older generations. They have that youthful energy which can rub off on everyone else, encouraging others to loosen up and have a good time.
2. They’re great at getting people on the dance floor when they would otherwise still be building up some Dutch courage before doing so.
3. Kids can be a great distraction in the quiet points of the wedding, such as that spell after the service but before the dinner, when you are away having photographs taken.
4. Depending on the age of your family and guests, it might be one of the last chances to get all generations in the same room.
5. Following on from the above point, it’s great having photographic memories of the entire family having fun at your wedding.
6. Those who cannot afford a babysitter will be very grateful for the gesture.

Con’s

1. The kid’s parents will generally be distracted throughout the day and not be able to fully let their hair down as the monitor and attend to their children whenever required.
2. The speeches may not be kid friendly and this becomes awkward for everyone when kids are present and adult stories are being told or adult language is being used.
3. Outbursts of Screaming, crying fits or boredom outbursts can disrupt your wedding service or speeches and are likely to spoil your wedding video a little.
4. You simply might not have the budget for kids to attend. A guest list can easily reach unaffordable numbers by adding children in.
5. If you invite some kids, those whose kids were not invited may feel aggrieved by this.
6. If you want all the attention on your big day, kids may take away some of the spotlight.
7. Badly behaved kids could really affect the mood of the day for everyone.
8. You’ll need to consider the dinner menu alternatives to accommodate the little ones.

As with all things – at the end of the day, this is your wedding and you have to do what is right for you and your budget.
 

As parents ourselves, we love going away to a wedding without the kids, as it gives us time to be a couple again and have normal wedding fun and have the time to catch up with everyone. For us, this is more so the case at friends weddings because our parents will be at home and can be called upon as babysitters.

If it is a family members wedding, we may not all see each other as a family that often, unless it’s a wedding or a funeral, so it’s great when the kids are invited to these so that their relatives get to see them.

Either way, we fully appreciate if people who invite us to their wedding don’t invite the kids as there are a lot of reasons not to.